TEN MARRIAGE LESSONS YOU MUST KNOW

Image credit: Mr_Lakusu

When I and Lilian newlyweds in April 2012, we both are excited about our new home, living together for the first time as husband and wife and building a family together. We both look forward for a positive and happy home. But, in the midst of all the happiness, some troubling situations surfaced. We quickly realized marriage is not as simple as we may have imagined.

Once we said, “I do.” our relationship took a different turn, our mindset had to immediately switch from boyfriend and girlfriend to husband and wife. We now treated our discussions and the responsibilities differently. We learned several lessons since we got married and we are still learning — and I guarantee we will continue to learn till Christ come. However, the best part of the learning process is that we are learning together.

Here are 10 things I've discovered about marriage that will shape your view about marriage.

WHOEVER YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS

Only God has no weakness and it is not angel that you married. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse’s weakness, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength. As I always advice my wife, not everything you react to. Don't be a reactionist.

EVERYONE HAS A DARK HISTORY

As I said above, you and your partner are not angel, therefore, avoid digging one’s past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away, behold your brand new partner. Try to forgive and forget. The past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future!

EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT’S OWN CHALLENGES

Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shining marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day! The Lord Jesus Christ did not abandon his own bride (you and I) He picked us up, washed and mend our wound and brought us to himself.

EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS

Please do not compare your marriage with others! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stress, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.

TO MARRY IS LIKE DECLARING WAR

When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Rumours, Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, winning, nagging, PRIDE, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.

THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE

There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a MOTOR CAR with a gear oil, engine oil, gear box, radiator, break oil etc. If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and expose the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. – Many of us are careless about our marriage… Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.

GOD CAN GIVE YOU THE PERSON YOU DESIRE BUT YOU NEED TO MOLD

God gives you, your partner, in form of raw materials in order for you to mold what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve. Likewise women, you need to back up your husband with prayers and other things needed to make him what God destined him to be.

TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK

You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get married to her because she's slim but she becomes a little fat after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at long last.

MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS PERMANENT

Some called marriage a contract, it is not. Marriage is to death do us part. Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce, though it’s permitted only in extreme cases.

EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY

Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing. Marriage is a two way traffic, you must reciprocate the love.

We all know too well that marriage could be difficult and intimidating at times. Nevertheless, there is nothing to fear as long as you and your spouse are determined, committed and willing to work as a team at all times.

May God grant us the grace and wisdom to succeed in it. Amen