Is Cooking A Woman’s Job?

The traditionalist in their views and inclination may argue that YES, cooking is a woman’s job, but like one commentator illustrated, “It is the job of anyone that wants to eat, both men and women.” That sounds rather funny, but I think it is very true!

I’ve yet to come across any material or instrument of law in any country of the world where it states that cooking is gender specific. Please, if you know of any such material in existence do let me know because I’d be really delighted to educate myself accordingly. Until then however, I’m inclined to believe that cooking isn’t gender specific and that it isn’t gender dependent.

I think women have traditionally played the role of the cook in the home because of certain customs and traditions that’s been in existence since pre-civilisation times.

In the olden days, the workplaces were farmlands and later coalfields. And these were dominated by men because they were regarded as having more strength to cultivate the farm and dig the mines. Women on the other hand stayed at home to keep the house, care for the children and ensure that the men have a ready meal when they returned home after a hard day’s work.

But that was okay for them then. The socioeconomic reality that they found themselves living in at that time warranted that sort of arrangement. Nevertheless, times have changed. The workplace is no longer the farmlands and coalfields as it was before. It has now diversified and many women are having to work as hard as their husbands so as to aid the economic wellbeing of their family. Some are working even harder than their husbands, just to ensure that there’s food on the table.

Not forgetting other domestic chores that today’s woman has to ensure gets done on a daily basis. And it is these and other factors that makes me think that it isn’t helping situations in marriage if we should keep fanning the flames of the old tradition that cooking is a woman’s job.

Most times when I watch a cookery programme on TV, I tend to see only male chefs. Come to think of it, I’ve hardly been to a restaurant whose chef is not a man. Although, someone’s gender doesn’t necessarily determine their ability to cook. Far from it!

Cooking is an art. Some people are passionate about it, others are less passionate about it – male and female alike. And for this reason, I’d say that whichever of the couple that loves cooking more should be the one that does the cooking, be it the husband or the wife. Or better still, couples could learn to cook together. I recommend this book

It is very well written, engaging but importantly it teaches you the why and not just the how of a regular cook book.

1. Why do you cook food often to 180C?
2. Why is a medium rare steak great, and a well done one tough?
3. Why can you cook things in acids (cerviche)?

And lots lots more.

Now, I believe that there are three key benefits that are available to marriages where couples have learnt to cook together. These are as follows:

1. An opportunity to share quality time together: 

As opposed to a situation where the husband is busy watching TV while his wife slaves away in the kitchen after a hard day’s work, cooking together will undoubtedly create an atmosphere for the couple to enjoy quality time together.

The time taken to prepare the ingredients and eventual cooking of the meal is truly a great prospect to catch up on the day’s events – talking, laughing and just enjoying each other’s company in the process. As a result of this, a very strong bond will increasingly be formed between the couple. Watch the video clip below



2. An opportunity to celebrate together: 

If the meal turns out well, you’ll celebrate together because you both made it. And if peradventure it didn’t quite turn out well, there’ll be no blame casting because you both created the meal. So rather than one person complaining that the meal wasn’t well prepared, you both laugh at your mistakes and enjoy the meal, nonetheless. It truly is a lovely thing! 

3. An opportunity to model good example for the children: 

You may not yet realise it but your children are smart enough to know the difference between what you preach and what you do. And it is what you do that they’ll follow, not what you say. I can’t think of a more powerful demonstration of virtue and commitment to family than for a boy to see his father doing house chores with delight. It will help to shape that boy into a quality man for the future. 

Our children don’t just want to hear us talk about love, kindness and togetherness, but more than that, they want to see us genuinely demonstrate these qualities through our actions.

There’s a scripture in the Bible that I so much love, and I think it’s relative to this article in many ways. It is recorded in Matthew 9:15 and it reads, “And who would use old wineskins to store new wine? For the old skins would burst with the pressure, and the wine would be spilled and skins ruined.” The old wine skin represents old methods and systems and the new wine skin represents new methods and systems. To preserve the new and fresh wine in your marriage, you must use the new wine skin. You cannot keep using your old wine skin or everything would burst and end in ruin.

Every now and then, to keep our smartphones and computers in excellent working condition, we have to update its software. If we fail to do this, we would one day discover that the device has become handicapped by its inability to perform the simplest function just because we didn’t update it.

So is life in general. Even so is marriage in general. 

We cannot expect to keep using outdated cultural and traditional methods in modern times and expect that everything would be okay. We have to change our approach so we can keep getting the outcomes we desire for our marriage.

I therefore submit that ‘cooking is not just a woman’s job’.

Credit: Sam Opeche, The Marriage Workshop, a London based Gospel Artist and Marriage builder

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