In Search Of Mr Perfect (Episode 14)

I can remember vividly that, few months ago you needed a perfect man. Now you want the man God will choose for you by himself. ''There is no such man as perfect Ima.'' Mimi said shrilly, as she scooped the last spoon of noodles into her mouth.

Imabasi’s face had gone blank as she’d yelled. “A man given to me by God is perfect!” She stood up straight, her eyes hooded and a small frown creasing her forehead.
Her phone rang, and she picked it up immediately from the sofa when she saw that it was pastor Iniunam.

Imabasi coughed and then said, “Pastor, the man who came to my door post this morning was a newspaper vendor. He had just one hand. I am angry, so angry. Why would God want to give me a man who is that dirty and handless? I am not worth such a man.” Her voice was so bitter.

She took her shower immediately, and after a long makeup on her face, she wore a turquoise blue tight gown that exposed her buttocks.

“Hello pastor” She said, as her voice got low.

“Sister Imabasi, God bless you my child. I sent the account number since, but I didn’t get any alert.” He said huskily.

''I did not pay any money because the man God sent me is not what I envision. He is not my type''

Pastor Iniunam gave a loud laugh and then said, “You are a child Of God sister Ima, you can tell God what you want and he will send him to you. If you don’t want the newspaper guy, you can keep praying. God can show you more people to choose from in your dream.” Pastor Iniunam paused and then began to say things in strange languages, 

“Hahhalabosokalabarayah, hmmm! Sister Ima, the lord Just ministered to me, that the first man you are going to see outside when you go out today will be your husband. 

He is a white man, the lord is trying to tell me what he is wearing, but I am not seeing clearly. Pray before you go out today, your mother cannot wait to have her son inlaw. But If you don’t like this one, you can keep fasting and praying, God will reveal to you in your dream.”

Miriam shook her head Jerkily, as she watched her friend.

“Thank you pastor. I am making a transfer to you right now.” She said, her voice sharp.

“God bless you, remain blessed.”

Imabasi hung up the call and turned her gaze to Miriam, “Pastor Iniunam is a man of God indeed.

“Oh really? This pastor Iniunam that you believe in so much, I hope he won’t turn out to be fake.”

“Can’t you be positive for me once Mimi?”

Miriam glared at her, her arms crossed, a wry smile curving her lips.

“okay. I will stop sounding negative. Let’s go find your man. Go have a shower, wear your best dress, do a light makeup, let’s go get your man.” Miriam said with a wide smile on her face.

Imabasi became delighted as she ran into her room. She had removed piles of clothes from her trunk box, just to get a dress.

“Wow, this is beautiful. You look like a seductress.” Miriam teased.

Imabasi whirled around excitedly as she took her purse and stood still for Miriam.

“Pastor Iniunam said he is a white guy remember? So, your British accent should be superb.” She said excitedly.

“Let’s go, before we miss him.” Imabasi said as she walked majestically out of the house, followed by Miriam.

As soon as they stepped out of the house, a cab guy stopped in front of them, making a low break sound from the car.

“Here he is!” Miriam whispered to her as she took a deep breathe.

“Hello beautiful women, where?” The cab guy asked, his English had Chinese accent, and it was obvious that he was Chinese.”

 Brixton Market.” Miriam said shrilly.

“He is white and clean. I think I like him, your god child is going to be Nigerian-chinese, such a child is going to be so beautiful because she will have a combination of black and white beauty right?” Imabasi reeled off in whispers into Miriam’s ears. She pulled away again and headed for the front seat of the car.

As soon as Imabasi slammed the car door, a strong garlic smell hit her hard on the nose. An unreasonable fury trembled inside her, desperate to be released. She let it all out, she puked all the noodles she ate in the car and then yelled, 

“Stop the car! you’re not my husband!”

She was becoming hysterical and her throat was clogging up.

Credit: Vicky Bon