Letting Loose (Monologue)

Father, I killed him.

I killed my husband. ( her voice quivers.)

Last night, I did it.

He came back home drunk! Sebastian was a nincompoop! He hated me, up to a point, a day won't pass by, without him using his belts on my body.

When he saw that I was lying on that sofa, he pulled me out forcefully and tore my night wear. (tears streaming out of her eyes)

He beat me up like I was a cow, a rat, a piece of furniture! All I could  see was
darkness, a very deep darkness.
(paused for a moment and then Begins to sob)

He dragged me to the kitchen counter, and grabbed a knife. He almost stabbed me on my chest. I wouldn't be here telling you this.
I pushed him with my two legs and he fell, he fell just like that. I didn't do it intentionally, believe me father.

My heart trembled when I saw that he wasn't breathing anymore; I was scared, so scared.
A searing bolt of pain traveled directly to my head. He had beaten me bad, bad...I could not even stand to reach the telephone. I couldn't scream so that my daughter wouldn't hear me.
I passed out...
I woke up on the hospital bed this morning; Surrounded by strange people.

They told me everything was alright. That it was like someone attempted to kill us.
They were not aware father, they didn't know I killed him. (her voice broke down.)

The police men are still in search of the person who killed my husband.

Father, I am glad he is dead. I suffered too much.
Too many heartbreaks in one marriage, from one man.
I saw the signs, I ignored.

He had slapped me on our first date, he was angry that Bolaji called. He is my cousin who lives in Markurdi, he wanted to find out, if I had gotten the money he sent to me. But before I could end a 'thank you' I got slapped for it.

Pathetic right?

That was just the beginning of my suffering.

(her voice becomes bold.)

He did worse! I mean worse things.
he pulled out my hair one time, he said I was being too fashionable and making other men come after me. He gave me a mark on my face, and threatened to kill me.

Father, the woman with ugly tattoos on her body, she used to be my neighbor. I caught Sebastian once, making love to her in our family car. He didn't come after me, he kept doing it. He didn't apologize. When I asked him why he had to do that, he beat the hell out from me.

Now that he is dead, should I not be grateful to God?

Father, I only came to make confessions. If God would forgive me and make me live again, then I wanna live again, but in a different world, where there is peace, love, no pains, no tears, no anger, no Violence, only love without aggression.

(She wipes her tears)


Credit: Vicky Bon