7 Ways Shoes are Like Marriage

We had a wedding to go to, one recently. My feet had not returned to pre-child size (add that to the list of things they don’t tell you will happen to your body). So, to my horror as I stepped into my high heel and realized it fit as well as the step-sister in the glass slipper, I realized we had to make an emergency shoe run on the way to the wedding.

Enter DSW Shoe Store.

I don’t think about shoes much. In fact, I have about three pairs of shoes that I regularly wear and that’s about it. Except, of course, my cowgirl boots. Those are exceptional and I do not even consider those shoes, they are like a dear friend. Moving on…

I was running down each aisle trying to find a pair of shoes for this wedding. I would not have given a deep thought to a shoe…. and then I saw it.

I could not stop looking at this shoe! I picked it up, held it in my hands, turned it over and over. “What do I like about this shoe?” I asked myself. I am not a collector of shoes and I really only buy a shoe if I need it…..why did I like this shoe? So many thoughts ran across my mind. Does it even match? What would I ever wear it with? Could the maker not make up their mind? Did it represent the best of both options? I had no idea. I put the shoe back down and kept looking.

After heading to the next aisle, I realized why I liked the shoe. It reminded me of my marriage!!

 I showed my husband and we had a good laugh. I found inspiration, but not a great pair of shoes to wear for the wedding. I settled on another pair of high heels that I have not worn again. Can you relate?!

ANYWAYS, that got me thinking…most people can relate to shoes – I mean, we all have feet right?! So, how are shoes like marriage? I laughed about it with my husband and here’s what we came up with.

7 Ways Shoes are Like Marriage:

1. Know the occasion you are buying for. (Too many people buy for convenience, cheap sale, spur of the moment. Wait for a lifelong commitment.)

2. One size does not fit all. (I am an odd, emotional, unique being. Newsflash: So are you. There’s really no reason to believe that one relationship will be exactly the same as that other couple you compare yourself to. Let go of trying to fit someone else’s style on your marriage. Be yourself and let your spouse be who they are. Marriages are custom made and that is beautiful.)

3. Shoes are going to get scuffed. (Life = Forgiveness. I would rather learn how to clean and repair my shoes than to walk around afraid to live in them. We all make mistakes. Our spouses are going to make mistakes. Keep walking together.)

4. They can turn an ordinary day into SPARKLE!!!! (Even though I am not a “shoe person,” I still know how it feels when I find just the right shoe for an event, race, or last year’s Military Ball. It feels FANTASTIC!!!! That’s also how it feels when a marriage is working as a team. Instead of looking to step on the other’s toes- we can look how to encourage the other to shine.)

5. They can stink!! (HA HA, but it’s true!! If anyone says their marriage is perfect I would say let me smell your shoes. We all have things God is helping us overcome. Yet, we don’t need to keep our nose in the odor – we can always rise above it.)

6. They are dependable. (A great pair of shoes are like a best friend. I have a pair of running shoes I bought for long shifts on the hospital trauma floor and I needed to be dependable yet comfortable. Those shoes are 8 years old and I STILL HAVE THEM! They are reliable, comfortable, and I will keep them because I have made so many great memories wearing them.

I want to be someone my spouse can depend on. Even on the long shifts and the late nights. I want us to work hard for each other and for the dreams we have yet to run towards together. I want us to keep each other. Even when we are too worn out to be of much use, then I want to, in stillness, walk through good memories in our hearts- together.)

7. Sometimes a great shoe steps in a bad pile of poo. (BUT That does not mean You are Poo. :) So keep on walking! Learning how to laugh through the rough spots and just keep moving forward is great for marriage – and great for life.)

I don’t really think a marriage can ever be defined as something so small as a shoe. But when I think about how hard life can be; the ups, the downs, the twists, the turns- there are always new adventures to face and new hurdles to jump over. I did not actually buy that high heel that I rushed over to. Turns out it was really uncomfortable, I wasn’t sure if it actually matched, and it was overpriced. But the DSW  “shoe and selfie” laughter my husband and I shared that day made me think seriously for a few weeks about shoes and marriage. So, here’s what I decided. I offered myself a shoe deal.

What if every time I stepped into my high heal, slipped on my flip flop, or laced up my running shoes – I asked myself this question,

“What can I do today, to take 1 step closer to my spouse?”

I put on shoes every single day. I think that if I took that question to heart, and took a step of action as my answer, then the road of marriage would be that much more fulfilling. I decided that even if my feet stink, I can still use them to make a positive step in my marriage, no matter what color or style of shoe I am wearing today.


Credit: Joy Brownlee RN. BSN. MED